Skip to main content

Anxiously Yours - Entry 2

 It’s morning already and I can hear my heart pounding against my eardrums. Is it normal? I don’t know, I won’t ever know either because that would require me to let another soul know what am I going through and that’s not gonna happen anytime soon. I feel this weird thing in my chest like someone is scraping away flesh using a grater and like there is no one point where it hurts, it does not even hurt in the first place. It just feels hollow and empty and fucking weird. I do not know if it is my poor vocabulary or they have not put enough words out there to describe what I feel inside me. I want this to fucking stop. Take deep breaths they say. Do this do that. Meditate and shit but those things are mostly said by people who are already fine and not feeling fucked up inside like I do.


I have been drinking water since yesterday. Lots of water. Relatively lots of water. I don’t drink much water otherwise. A glass in a day maybe. Just hoping the water cleanses me and wash down whatever this thing stuck to me is. *fingers crossed*. Plus there are a lot of benefits of drinking water like you can go for pee multiple timings and burn some calories. Also, skin looks good but that’s a long-term result, and not sure if this is going to happen for a long time. Let’s see. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A PALINDROMIC LOVE

Her laughter broke the silence , bringing him back from the dense web of thoughts . A smile surfaced on his face seeing her sitting beside him, holding his hand. He had always wondered how easily she could find joy in the things he regarded as mundane. How her eyes looked even more beautiful when she was happy, her eyes, her sparkling hazel eyes had an unearthly attraction which could root anybody to the same spot for hours. She seemed so happy with the world, so lost in her own thoughts. This laugh was so familiar to him, it was the same laugh which would always save him from all the gloom, the one which he so deeply admired, the one with which he had fallen in love with.  It was the same laugh, he could now recognize it clearly. He remembers his first encounter with this laugh. He was this shy guy in college whom nobody knew and she was this famous cheery and chirpy girl the whole college talked about. She was the topic of almost all of the buzz in the campus a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Anxiously Yours - Entry 1

For the longest time, I have had this feeling, this feeling of your soul crumbling from within, something emptying you, sipping away the life, the energy the peace, and feel this unexplainable hollowness from within which leaves you more helpless by every passing movement. I have been feeling this even before the time I knew it has a name to it. The feeling is not new as such, it is just the acknowledgment and the gravity we have given to this which has changed over the past some years.  The palpitations, beating of hard and excessive sweating you must have faced before something you were afraid of. Some might have told you you were being a coward or fattu. I have heard elders putting the same feeling as " ji ghabrana"  or " praan kablana".  For the longest time I have only heard this word as something you go through or feel and not remotely something you might have or suffer from which if I think about it disassociates the feeling from the person and dilutes the...
Post a Comment
Read more

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Come near to me I have something to say The things which have caused me all the dismay The things you so bluntly deny Things which are as clear as the morning sky Come near to me while I pull you closer and ask About the reason of your actions And the false glory you bask Come near to me while I place my hands on your smooth neck And hover my fingers where you got the love peck And see in your eyes and see if you still can lie About all that was happening behind my sight Come near to me So that I can smack your disgusting lips,  as hard as I can Cause you know no emotions ...and just need any man For you are damaged and can never heal And snatching others' happiness fuels your zeal Come near to me So that I can place my hands around your neck so divine And free you from this disgusting life ....it will soon be all fine And let my anger lower while you gasp for air And struggling for life while the end is near I wil...
Post a Comment
Read more