For the longest time, I have had this feeling, this feeling of your soul crumbling from within, something emptying you, sipping away the life, the energy the peace, and feel this unexplainable hollowness from within which leaves you more helpless by every passing movement. I have been feeling this even before the time I knew it has a name to it. The feeling is not new as such, it is just the acknowledgment and the gravity we have given to this which has changed over the past some years.
The palpitations, beating of hard and excessive sweating you must have faced before something you were afraid of. Some might have told you you were being a coward or fattu. I have heard elders putting the same feeling as "ji ghabrana" or "praan kablana". For the longest time I have only heard this word as something you go through or feel and not remotely something you might have or suffer from which if I think about it disassociates the feeling from the person and dilutes the much-needed discussion on the topic.
Yeah, I am talking about anxiety here. I remember the first time I came across the word. It was in our book of English. "Two Gentlemen of Verona” and one of the gentlemen was feeling anxious. And, I clearly remember me asking the teacher what that word meant. I have always had a word way with words, though I do not know much of them i.e my vocabulary is not that good but still, I remember the instances when I first read a word and the story behind that.
Like, I remember I came across the word “disappeared" in the story of The woodcutter and the fairy. It was such a long word for a 2nd-grade boy and I remember me learning its spelling so that I do not make a mistake in my test. The number of ss and aa and pp was intimidating. I came across the word “eccentric” in 6th grade in the chapter “The match”. I also remember the sentence it was used in. Enough of digressing and blowing my own trumpet.
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