Hey you ...yeah you....are you scared of the thoughts you get right before you go to sleep ??. ...When you put aside your phone to sleep...slide everything aside ...close your eyes...when you face the darkness ..those thoughts .....yeah we may have talked and yeah you told me you had a great day ...and yes you have told me about that colleague you abhor and how that one time you got thrown out of a bar at midnight...and of course by now I know you prefer whiskey over beer...but what I wanna know is what you see when you don't wanna see anything ...what is that keeps you awake on the lonely nights...what is that you try to outrun...being a part of this hassle ...running this vicious cycle....dancing to this humdrum of chaos ...I wanna know what knocks your doors when you have put on the latch to rest.... frankly its all that matters to me ...because its all what it takes me to know you ...yeah I know you put up a good a show ...and yeah you keep up with everything with an upright glow and yes you may have told me everything about you under the sun ....I still wanna know what dwells there when the sun goes down ....what is it that chases you throughout the day and catches you when you stop, to call it a day and gather your breath...thats what matters to me because more often than not we become what we fear...Time and again you have been taking a peek under the bed not knowing the thing had already crept its way up...you see sooner or later we become the monsters under our bed...so when I ask about your fears what I seek is to know you more because ....you may not realize it now but the thing that scares you is YOU.
For the longest time, I have had this feeling, this feeling of your soul crumbling from within, something emptying you, sipping away the life, the energy the peace, and feel this unexplainable hollowness from within which leaves you more helpless by every passing movement. I have been feeling this even before the time I knew it has a name to it. The feeling is not new as such, it is just the acknowledgment and the gravity we have given to this which has changed over the past some years. The palpitations, beating of hard and excessive sweating you must have faced before something you were afraid of. Some might have told you you were being a coward or fattu. I have heard elders putting the same feeling as " ji ghabrana" or " praan kablana". For the longest time I have only heard this word as something you go through or feel and not remotely something you might have or suffer from which if I think about it disassociates the feeling from the person and dilutes the...
Comments
Post a Comment